Thursday, 25 September 2014

2.5 Weeks Without Social Media

So, it has been a while since I have written on here, but it has been roughly two and a half weeks since I have given up Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest. My self esteem has continued to raise, I have been slightly more active (biking and walking more places, started my workouts again). I am eating relatively healthy, I have gotten an apartment with my boyfriend (also packed a good amount too!). Things have been going well for me.

But let us focus on the mental health side of this. 

Q: How do I feel about myself and my life (choices) since I have left social media?
A: I feel more secure with myself. When people are online, they tend to be more forceful about their points of views and have more to throw your way. The views that are out there are also very contradicting. One moment it is "A" is good, next "A" is bad. Without all these views being pushed and forced onto me, I am more secure with how I feel about myself, my choices, and how I run my life. I make my own choices based on facts that I get from the news websites rather then opinions that people have. For example: Feminism. This gets forced upon us, which to a certain extent it isn't bad. However, not only women face discrimination, sexual harassment, and bullying. Our media makes us believe that men are evil and never face these obstacles. So now that I am seeing these ideas and issues with facts and not opinions, I don't feel so pressured or bad for having my own feelings and opnions on these issues. 

Q: How is my social life changing now without having social media at my fingertips?
A: Well, I have been paying more attention to those I speak and work with. I am not constantly checking my phone so I am not missing what they are saying. It is bringing me closer to those I speak with. I still use Facebook Messenger to keep in contact with my friends who have moved away, but I am not constantly checking up on pictures, doing quizzes, and all the other stuff that you do on Facebook. This is making my face-to-face interactions more personal and more meaningful. 

Q: How has my sleeping patterns changed since I haven't used social media?
A: I am falling asleep more, going to bed earlier, waking up earlier and staying asleep longer. I am feeling more energized and well rested. Since I am not on social media anymore, I am not feeling as anxious or insecure so it is helping with my sleeping. Also since I don't use it, I am not up all night on social media saying "after this quiz I will go to bed" or "after this comment I will go to sleep". So it is really helping with that aspect (which ties into the whole emotional disorder and depression). 

Q: How has my depression, emotions, and anxiety been since I have left social media?
A: Well I had a moment the other day where my depression started to sneak up, but I was able to quickly deny it and recover. I can not tell you if for certain it is because of lack of social media or if I have learned to control my depressive moments. For my emotions, they are still strong, however they are positive. I don't know again, if this is a correlation between no social media and myself or if it is just that over time I have learned to control myself. As for the anxiety, it has gone down. I am not so anxious about needing to please everyone around me. I just want to live my life, be happy and be a good person to those around me. Without so many opinions and ideas and emotions being thrown my way, it is great how much lower my anxieties have gone. 

Q: What do you plan to do with this information?
A: I plan to limit my use of social media. I will keep it off my phone and go back to using it on the computer only (after Christmas as promised). I was going to delete it, but everything is good in moderation. 

If you have any questions or comments feel free to leave them below. These are my findings on myself, they may differ with each individual. Also it may depend on type of mental health problems that you have. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and Depression (previously from Bulemia, still managing that, however I do not go through the binging and purging that goes hand in hand with bulemia). So I do not have that bad of issues (anymore). So for someone with more severe health issues, results may differ. 

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Case Study: How Social Media Affects My Mental Health

Hey guys! So, I posted on Facebook and Twitter that I was going to cut out social media to see how it affects my mental health (among other things). I cut out Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pintrest (don't really use any others so I didn't have anything else to cut out). It has been like three days and actually a bunch of things have shifted for me! 

First off, I have been so much more confident and sure with my life and the way things are going! I am so much less judgemental towards myself and my self esteem has started to raise. I am still having moments where I am like "Oh my god, I should really be this way instad of that" but overall, I am still more confident in my life. For me, I notice that I end up comparing myself to my friends a lot. When I am having days where I am sitting at home, in my sweatpants, eating ice cream out of the container and have left over pizza on my coffee table, I see my friends posting pictures. I start to think "I am doing nothing with my life, I feel so unfulfilled." A buddy of mine mentioned a quote to me (not sure where he got it from) but it is so true, "Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are all people's highlight reels. They aren't the bad times, they are only the good." And I could not agree more, I am not bragging to people on Facebook with pictures saying "look at all this ice cream I ate!" or "I gained those 5 pounds back!" I only post the good; the highlight reel of my life. Since I have stopped watching everyone's highlight reel and focusing on what I am doing in my life more mindfully, I have felt more accomplished and more secure with how things are going. I am taking a two day course on suicide prevention so I can get a better job. That is a good thing! I have travelled and have made my life a life I want to live. Just because I can not be active all the time, does not mean my life sucks! So this change hopefully will grow and become stronger!

I am falling asleep faster and sleeping deeper. Because of the previous result, my anxities have lowered, this means that I am not racing thoughts through my head contsantly and staying awake (or just awake on social media), I am able to fall asleep and stay asleep. It is great, so that is affecting my overall health.

I wish that I had measured my blood pressure before I started, but I didn't. I know it was slightly high, not high enough to cause alarm, but after this is done, I am going to measure it at work and have a nurse take my vitals. However my resting heart rate is usually around 85-90 (usually closer to 90) right now in this moment it is 78. So my heart rate seems to be getting better. 

It is still too early to get big results, but this is just after like three days this is what I have to report. So here we are :)




EDIT: I also have more time to spend with my cat, I know this isn't related to my mental health but it helps my physical health. When I spend more time with him, he gets less stressed and less worked up so he sheds less, also while I am spending time with him, I am brushing him which limits the hair that spreads around the apartment, and I am also exercising him which is good for him. When he is happy I am happy. Just thought I should share this point here!

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

What A Shaman Sees In A Mental Hospital

This article was originally written by Kristopher Love on www.thespiritscience.net

The link that I had isn't working so I had to copy it, I did not write this. I just find this article is very interesting and is a MUST READ!



The Shamanic View of Mental Illness
In the shamanic view, mental illness signals “the birth of a healer,” explains Malidoma Patrice Somé.  Thus, mental disorders are spiritual emergencies, spiritual crises, and need to be regarded as such to aid the healer in being born.
What those in the West view as mental illness, the Dagara people regard as “good news from the other world.”  The person going through the crisis has been chosen as a medium for a message to the community that needs to be communicated from the spirit realm.  “Mental disorder, behavioral disorder of all kinds, signal the fact that two obviously incompatible energies have merged into the same field,” says Dr. Somé.  These disturbances result when the person does not get assistance in dealing with the presence of the energy from the spirit realm.
One of the things Dr. Somé encountered when he first came to the United States in 1980 for graduate study was how this country deals with mental illness.  When a fellow student was sent to a mental institute due to “nervous depression,” Dr. Somé went to visit him.
“I was so shocked.  That was the first time I was brought face to face with what is done here to people exhibiting the same symptoms I’ve seen in my village.”  What struck Dr. Somé was that the attention given to such symptoms was based on pathology, on the idea that the condition is something that needs to stop.  This was in complete opposition to the way his culture views such a situation.  As he looked around the stark ward at the patients, some in straitjackets, some zoned out on medications, others screaming, he observed to himself, “So this is how the healers who are attempting to be born are treated in this culture.  What a loss!  What a loss that a person who is finally being aligned with a power from the other world is just being wasted.”
Another way to say this, which may make more sense to the Western mind, is that we in the West are not trained in how to deal or even taught to acknowledge the existence of psychic phenomena, the spiritual world.  In fact, psychic abilities are denigrated.  When energies from the spiritual world emerge in a Western psyche, that individual is completely unequipped to integrate them or even recognize what is happening.  The result can be terrifying.  Without the proper context for and assistance in dealing with the breakthrough from another level of reality, for all practical purposes, the person is insane.  Heavy dosing with anti-psychotic drugs compounds the problem and prevents the integration that could lead to soul development and growth in the individual who has received these energies.
On the mental ward, Dr Somé saw a lot of “beings” hanging around the patients, “entities” that are invisible to most people but that shamans and psychics are able to see.  “They were causing the crisis in these people,” he says.  It appeared to him that these beings were trying to get the medications and their effects out of the bodies of the people the beings were trying to merge with, and were increasing the patients’ pain in the process.  “The beings were acting almost like some kind of excavator in the energy field of people.  They were really fierce about that.  The people they were doing that to were just screaming and yelling,” he said.  He couldn’t stay in that environment and had to leave.
In the Dagara tradition, the community helps the person reconcile the energies of both worlds–”the world of the spirit that he or she is merged with, and the village and community.”  That person is able then to serve as a bridge between the worlds and help the living with information and healing they need.  Thus, the spiritual crisis ends with the birth of another healer.  “The other world’s relationship with our world is one of sponsorship,” Dr. Somé explains.  “More often than not, the knowledge and skills that arise from this kind of merger are a knowledge or a skill that is provided directly from the other world.”
The beings who were increasing the pain of the inmates on the mental hospital ward were actually attempting to merge with the inmates in order to get messages through to this world.  The people they had chosen to merge with were getting no assistance in learning how to be a bridge between the worlds and the beings’ attempts to merge were thwarted.  The result was the sustaining of the initial disorder of energy and the aborting of the birth of a healer.
“The Western culture has consistently ignored the birth of the healer,” states Dr. Somé.  “Consequently, there will be a tendency from the other world to keep trying as many people as possible in an attempt to get somebody’s attention.  They have to try harder.”  The spirits are drawn to people whose senses have not been anesthetized.  “The sensitivity is pretty much read as an invitation to come in,” he notes.
Those who develop so-called mental disorders are those who are sensitive, which is viewed in Western culture as oversensitivity.  Indigenous cultures don’t see it that way and, as a result, sensitive people don’t experience themselves as overly sensitive.  In the West, “it is the overload of the culture they’re in that is just wrecking them,” observes Dr. Somé.  The frenetic pace, the bombardment of the senses, and the violent energy that characterize Western culture can overwhelm sensitive people.


Schizophrenia and Foreign Energy

With schizophrenia, there is a special “receptivity to a flow of images and information, which cannot be controlled,” stated Dr. Somé.  “When this kind of rush occurs at a time that is not personally chosen, and particularly when it comes with images that are scary and contradictory, the person goes into a frenzy.”
What is required in this situation is first to separate the person’s energy from the extraneous foreign energies, by using shamanic practice (what is known as a “sweep”) to clear the latter out of the individual’s aura.  With the clearing of their energy field, the person no longer picks up a flood of information and so no longer has a reason to be scared and disturbed, explains Dr. Somé.
Then it is possible to help the person align with the energy of the spirit being attempting to come through from the other world and give birth to the healer.  The blockage of that emergence is what creates problems.  “The energy of the healer is a high-voltage energy,” he observes.  “When it is blocked, it just burns up the person.  It’s like a short-circuit.  Fuses are blowing.  This is why it can be really scary, and I understand why this culture prefers to confine these people.  Here they are yelling and screaming, and they’re put into a straitjacket.  That’s a sad image.”  Again, the shamanic approach is to work on aligning the energies so there is no blockage, “fuses” aren’t blowing, and the person can become the healer they are meant to be.
It needs to be noted at this point, however, that not all of the spirit beings that enter a person’s energetic field are there for the purposes of promoting healing.  There are negative energies as well, which are undesirable presences in the aura.  In those cases, the shamanic approach is to remove them from the aura, rather than work to align the discordant energies
Alex:  Crazy in the USA, Healer in Africa
To test his belief that the shamanic view of mental illness holds true in the Western world as well as in indigenous cultures, Dr. Somé took a mental patient back to Africa with him, to his village.  “I was prompted by my own curiosity to find out whether there’s truth in the universality that mental illness could be connected with an alignment with a being from another world,” says Dr. Somé.
Alex was an 18-year-old American who had suffered a psychotic break when he was 14.  He had hallucinations, was suicidal, and went through cycles of dangerously severe depression.  He was in a mental hospital and had been given a lot of drugs, but nothing was helping.  “The parents had done everything–unsuccessfully,” says Dr. Somé.  “They didn’t know what else to do.”
With their permission, Dr. Somé took their son to Africa.  “After eight months there, Alex had become quite normal, Dr. Somé reports.  He was even able to participate with healers in the business of healing; sitting with them all day long and helping them, assisting them in what they were doing with their clients . . . . He spent about four years in my village.”  Alex stayed by choice, not because he needed more healing.  He felt, “much safer in the village than in America.”
To bring his energy and that of the being from the spiritual realm into alignment, Alex went through a shamanic ritual designed for that purpose, although it was slightly different from the one used with the Dagara people.  “He wasn’t born in the village, so something else applied.  But the result was similar, even though the ritual was not literally the same,” explains Dr. Somé.  The fact that aligning the energy worked to heal Alex demonstrated to Dr. Somé that the connection between other beings and mental illness is indeed universal.
After the ritual, Alex began to share the messages that the spirit being had for this world.  Unfortunately, the people he was talking to didn’t speak English (Dr. Somé was away at that point).  The whole experience led, however, to Alex’s going to college to study psychology.  He returned to the United States after four years because “he discovered that all the things that he needed to do had been done, and he could then move on with his life.”
The last that Dr. Somé heard was that Alex was in graduate school in psychology at Harvard.  No one had thought he would ever be able to complete undergraduate studies, much less get an advanced degree.
Dr. Somé sums up what Alex’s mental illness was all about:  “He was reaching out.  It was an emergency call.  His job and his purpose was to be a healer.  He said no one was paying attention to that.”
After seeing how well the shamanic approach worked for Alex, Dr. Somé concluded that spirit beings are just as much an issue in the West as in his community in Africa.  “Yet the question still remains, the answer to this problem must be found here, instead of having to go all the way overseas to seek the answer.  There has to be a way in which a little bit of attention beyond the pathology of this whole experience leads to the possibility of coming up with the proper ritual to help people.
Longing for Spiritual Connection
A common thread that Dr. Somé has noticed in “mental” disorders in the West is “a very ancient ancestral energy that has been placed in stasis, that finally is coming out in the person.”  His job then is to trace it back, to go back in time to discover what that spirit is.  In most cases, the spirit is connected to nature, especially with mountains or big rivers, he says.
In the case of mountains, as an example to explain the phenomenon, “it’s a spirit of the mountain that is walking side by side with the person and, as a result, creating a time-space distortion that is affecting the person caught in it.”  What is needed is a merger or alignment of the two energies, “so the person and the mountain spirit become one.”  Again, the shaman conducts a specific ritual to bring about this alignment.
Dr. Somé believes that he encounters this situation so often in the United States because “most of the fabric of this country is made up of the energy of the machine, and the result of that is the disconnection and the severing of the past.  You can run from the past, but you can’t hide from it.”  The ancestral spirit of the natural world comes visiting.  “It’s not so much what the spirit wants as it is what the person wants,” he says.  “The spirit sees in us a call for something grand, something that will make life meaningful, and so the spirit is responding to that.”
That call, which we don’t even know we are making, reflects “a strong longing for a profound connection, a connection that transcends materialism and possession of things and moves into a tangible cosmic dimension.  Most of this longing is unconscious, but for spirits, conscious or unconscious doesn’t make any difference.”  They respond to either.
As part of the ritual to merge the mountain and human energy, those who are receiving the “mountain energy” are sent to a mountain area of their choice, where they pick up a stone that calls to them.  They bring that stone back for the rest of the ritual and then keep it as a companion; some even carry it around with them.  “The presence of the stone does a lot in tuning the perceptive ability of the person,” notes Dr. Somé.  “They receive all kinds of information that they can make use of, so it’s like they get some tangible guidance from the other world as to how to live their life.”
When it is the “river energy,” those being called go to the river and, after speaking to the river spirit, find a water stone to bring back for the same kind of ritual as with the mountain spirit.
“People think something extraordinary must be done in an extraordinary situation like this,” he says.  That’s not usually the case.  Sometimes it is as simple as carrying a stone.
A Sacred Ritual Approach to Mental Illness
One of the gifts a shaman can bring to the Western world is to help people rediscover ritual, which is so sadly lacking.  “The abandonment of ritual can be devastating.  From the spiritual view, ritual is inevitable and necessary if one is to live,” Dr. Somé writes in Ritual:  Power, Healing, and Community. “To say that ritual is needed in the industrialized world is an understatement.  We have seen in my own people that it is probably impossible to live a sane life without it.”
Dr. Somé did not feel that the rituals from his traditional village could simply be transferred to the West, so over his years of shamanic work here, he has designed rituals that meet the very different needs of this culture.  Although the rituals change according to the individual or the group involved, he finds that there is a need for certain rituals in general.
One of these involves helping people discover that their distress is coming from the fact that they are “called by beings from the other world to cooperate with them in doing healing work.”  Ritual allows them to move out of the distress and accept that calling.
Another ritual need relates to initiation.  In indigenous cultures all over the world, young people are initiated into adulthood when they reach a certain age.  The lack of such initiation in the West is part of the crisis that people are in here, says Dr. Somé.  He urges communities to bring together “the creative juices of people who have had this kind of experience, in an attempt to come up with some kind of an alternative ritual that would at least begin to put a dent in this kind of crisis.”
Another ritual that repeatedly speaks to the needs of those coming to him for help entails making a bonfire, and then putting into the bonfire “items that are symbolic of issues carried inside the individuals . . . It might be the issues of anger and frustration against an ancestor who has left a legacy of murder and enslavement or anything, things that the descendant has to live with,” he explains.  “If these are approached as things that are blocking the human imagination, the person’s life purpose, and even the person’s view of life as something that can improve, then it makes sense to begin thinking in terms of how to turn that blockage into a roadway that can lead to something more creative and more fulfilling.”
The example of issues with an ancestors touches on rituals designed by Dr. Somé that address a serious dysfunction in Western society and in the process “trigger enlightenment” in participants.  These are ancestral rituals, and the dysfunction they are aimed at is the mass turning-of-the-back on ancestors.  Some of the spirits trying to come through, as described earlier, may be “ancestors who want to merge with a descendant in an attempt to heal what they weren’t able to do while in their physical body.”
“Unless the relationship between the living and the dead is in balance, chaos ensues,” he says.  “The Dagara believe that, if such an imbalance exists, it is the duty of the living to heal their ancestors.  If these ancestors are not healed, their sick energy will haunt the souls and psyches of those who are responsible for helping them.”  The rituals focus on healing the relationship with our ancestors, both specific issues of an individual ancestor and the larger cultural issues contained in our past.  Dr. Somé has seen extraordinary healing occur at these rituals.
Taking a sacred ritual approach to mental illness rather than regarding the person as a pathological case gives the person affected–and indeed the community at large–the opportunity to begin looking at it from that vantage point too, which leads to “a whole plethora of opportunities and ritual initiative that can be very, very beneficial to everyone present,” states. Dr. Somé.
The Shamanic View of Mental Illness
by Stephanie Marohn (featuring Malidoma Patrice Somé)
(Excerpted from The Natural Medicine Guide to Schizophrenia,
pages 178-189, or The Natural Medicine Guide to Bi-polar Disorder)
As seen on EWAO

Music and Our Health

...music therapy?


This was something that myself and a patient family member were talking about (I work in a hospital). Her father has had some brain trauma (not sure the reasoning behind it), but he can't speak well, he can't write and he can't move well on his own. When he listens to music though can shake his foot and sing along (not too well, because his motor skills are still rough, but better than when he speaks). This just goes to show how music can really affect us in a different way. 

Music therapy isn't a big thing here in Canada, but I have heard it is pretty big in the United States. I think music can help not only those with severe brain injuries, but those with mental health issues as well. It can validate our emotions, it helps with connecting us to other human beings and helps make us feel accepted. That can calm our anxieties, lower our depression, take our mind off of our stresses and relieve anger. It makes us realize that we are not alone with how we feel and that we are all connected in the same way with how we are on the inside. 

Find something you connect to; whether it is metal music, country, blues, rap, hip hop, whatever. There are many genres of music because there are many different types of people, emotions and situations that we are faced with in life. Music is great. It reaches a part of us that is sometimes hard to connect with in a peaceful and effective way. Take some time to discover what is going on in your head and go from there! Again, stay happy and healthy!! xx

Thursday, 28 August 2014

Getting in Touch With Life

The last couple days have been amazing! I have gotten in touch with a bunch of stuff and I love it!!
First off, I have been finding more family and learning more about my heritage. I knew that my dad's side of the family is from England and are a part of the Romany Gypsies. However, more recently I have been actually able to get a hold of cousins and other relatives (mostly cousins). I just think it is super exciting and neat! But because of my BPD I do get intense emotions so I have to do my best when I meet these people to not come off as needy and intense! I know these people are fairly non judgemental (mostly because of the discrimination they face themselves) but it is something I do need to practice control. So far they have been great! Love it!

I have also been getting in touch with nature and trying to set up a regular hiking date with someone. This would be great for me since working out has become more difficult because my knee has been getting worse. I can't do lunges and even squats are getting difficult. So I need to take it easy on the knees. So I decided to go a different route on being healthy. Plus nature has been proven to reduce stress and depression! It is a good idea for those who are easily stressed, anxious and/or depressed to spend some time out in nature. Even if you are alone it is a good way to practice meditation and being in the now. Do your best, find social groups on Facebook that are dedicated to hiking or outdoor activities. My next step is to do rock climbing. Lets stay fit! 

Sorry today is short, I wrote another blog on travelling (http://samanthacassieltravel.blogspot.ca/) just started it about my Edmonton Trip in April. I was pretty excited about it. I figured if I am going to do hiking and travelling I might as well document it and speak about how it has affected me. This one was just generic, but I will try to post tomorrow my hike through Albion Falls Trail and talk about how it has worked for me and my mental health. Sorry again! Please be patient! Much love, stay healthy, and do your best to be happy and safe. Love you all!! xx

Monday, 18 August 2014

I Shouldn't Be So Open About My Mental Health




Today, I phoned someone close to me to ask for some advice (as I have been sick with a cold and wanted to know something about treatment). The topic of mental health comes up (like it does with me fairly regularly because it is something I have become passionate about). This individual said to me "..talking about it to friends and family is one thing, but you shouldn't be so open about it online. What if a future employer sees and you don't get that job?" Well then, I wouldn't want to work for someone who doesn't want to give everyone equal opportunity. I could understand if being unhealthy in any way would affect the job (example: you can't lift a required amount of weight) but I would not want to work for anyone who saw mental illness as something "wrong".

I am currently trying to lift the stigmatism we have towards mental health; that it should be spoken about behind closed doors. I remember when I was first diagnosed, one of the first things I said was "who the hell gets diagnosed with BPD? I am so alone." Over time I realized how wrong I was and I learned others are afraid to talk about it because of two reasons:

1. The negativity that we, as a society, give mental health
2. They are afraid that they are alone in how they are thinking/feeling

A friend of mine has recently gone to see a therapist/psychiatrist and when he told me he said "I am so pathetic and weak I need help." I had to tell him EVERYONE needs help, it's just you need different help than what your brother may need, or what your cousin may need or what your best friend from third grade may need. Everyone needs some sort of help, and if they think otherwise, then they are very niave and it the time will come when they will grow up and realize. When I say help, I don't just mean mental help, I mean help with homework, help with the chores, help learning how to use a diswasher, etc. Help is a very generic word. Society has also deemed it negative, especially for men. Help actually means (according to Oxford English Dictionary: Make it easier or possible for (someone) to do something by offering them one's services or reources. Not everyone (both men and women alike) are not always given the same resources to deal with life and what it throws their way. THAT'S OKAY! That is why I know how to do "A" and you know how to do "B". Help is social, help is good, help is positive! Society hs just told people that relying on others is bad. Ask yourself (and post below, I would love to see people's responses):

Why is needing help bad? 

We are told that being social is good; it helps eliviate depression, feelings of lonliness and helps teach us things. So getting "help" is a form of being social. It is asking other's their thoughts, feelings, opinions, likes, dislikes, what they agree on and what they disagree on. Help is what we do when we meet new people, talk about ourselves to one another, to teach.

To go back to my statement before defining what help is and why it is good, if I am trying to help lift the stigmatism against mental health, then why should I be quiet about it? That would be renforcing the stigmatism. As I said to both friends (the one who needed help and the one who said I should keep quiet) "Change does not happen if you keep doing the same thing day in and day out. Change happens when you change. You can not change the world without changing yourself." I stand by this. Change does not happen unless WE change! I also said to them "The way our society looks at mental health is how we have (previously and currenlty still in some places and people) look at gay people; they are "bad". It is how we looked at (and again, some places and people still look at) coloured people, Aboriginals, Asians, etc, they are "bad". Those individuals could not help how they feel about a certain gender, how they were born a certain colour, race, etc. yet we still say they are "bad" for being that way. Just like those with mental health. They are "bad" and yet, they can not help that the stress they dealt with caused a trigger to go off that had them be diagnosed with schizophrenia, or that they were born with a chemical imbalance that gave them austism. So why do we still look at it as "bad". Same idea, all these individuals can not help how they were born/created and yet, they are "bad". Why?" And a silence was my answer on the other end. The sentence of "What if a future employer see this, and you don't get the job?" was the response to follow that silence. My answers stays "If someone or some compnay decides that people with certain illnesses are not to be treated as equals, then fine. I do not wish to work for them. Everyone, whether they are black, white, yellow, red, phsyically healthy or unhealthy, mentally healthy or unhealthy, gay, straight, transgendered, etc. has a right to be treated with respect and love because they are a living being."

This is how I feel and I will stand by it until the day I die. If somone has wronged you because of their ignorance and refusal to see any other way but their own, or because they are just jerks, remember "They are not against you, they are merely for themselves." Being a certain way makes them feel better, just tell them you do not agree with their way of thinking, if they ask, elaborate. However, do not meet hate with hate EVER! Hatred brings hatred, love brings love. Remember this.

Friday, 15 August 2014

Physical and Mental Health



For me, the hardest part about mental health is keeping myself physically healthy as well. A lot of people with mental health also suffer from insomnia. Insomnia is either the inability to fall asleep, stay asleep or wake up. Unfortunately, depending on the day, I have all three. Perfect example, last night I couldn't fall asleep, then I couldn't stay asleep, and in the morning (when I had to get up for work), I could barely get myself out of bed. Sleep plays a major part in both our physical and mental health, along with eating healthy and being physical.

Over the past three years of actually facing my mental health head on, a mixture of keeping my physical health and therapy has worked the best for me. I understand in today's society, it is hard to eat right, sleep right and keep fit. But it is all about managing your time properly. Schedules work the best!

I work, and unfortunately my work I get called in a lot for shifts. So my schedules have to be fairly flexible. And I am still working on it. I am not a morning person so I tend to sleep late (until 10am), this also means that I stay up later then most people. I do my best to get around 8 hours of sleep a night, that way I am not lacking in sleep. If I can't sleep or don't sleep well, I do NOT "make up" for my lost sleep. For me, I find that doing my workouts and physical activity later on in the evening is best for me (based on my sleeping schedule). So I do it usually after dinner. I go on a walk to warm up and then I end up doing a workout on my Xbox One. Since, in the past, I have also suffered from binging and purging, I do my best to watch when I eat and what I eat. Currently, I am doing a 10 days of real food challange (hopefully I will move up to the 100 days). All of this did not come overnight though and I am still working on it as go!

I took tiny steps and created reachable goals to make my schedule happen. That schedule I have created, will help me in my long term goals. So firstly, I focused on exercise. To me, that was the easiest place to start. It began as one half hour walk a day. That actually changed a lot in my mood and made me want to do more. Since my boyfriend had bought an Xbox One, it came with Xbox Fitness. That made working out easy, fun, and manageable.

Then I focused on eating right. That was the next easiest thing. If I cooked a meal, I knew my boyfriend would eat with me. He was a huge factor in how I ate, since he wasn't overly healthy, I wasn't. But when I started eating and cooking, he joined in. It was easier for him and healthier for me. Also I had to find a way to make food good for me. By that I mean, my previous "relationship" with food was horrible. I wouldn't eat, and when I did, I binged and then purged it in some way. So I had to make food something I wanted as a part of my life. So I learned to cook unique things and add more flavour. I was sick of bland, dry food, so I started cooking spicier, adding more natural sweets (I have a huge sweet tooth!), and trying new things.

Sleep, I am still working on. I am having issues waking myself up. I just do not want to get out of bed. I think for me, what it is, is when I am not working, there is no need for me to leave bed. So I may need to pick up a hobby or two. Something to look forward to in the morning!

All these things, you do need a reason to do them. For me, being healthy is enough. I do this for me. But you may need your own reasons. And schedules do not have to be boring. You do not have to go to the gym to be active. Go on daily walks, hikes, bike rides, runs, pick up karate, dance, anything that you think would be fun and you would be into doing! If you are tired of your regular food, learn to either spice it up by seasoning it differently, adding different ingredients, or learn something new! And for sleep, turn off your technology, get a dark room, and meditate. Take your time going to sleep. Get a bedtime routine. Mom was onto something when she bathed us, got us to brush our teeth, read us a nighttime story, and then tucked us in. It was to calm us down before we slept! Schedules don't have to be timed, they don't have to be predictable, they can be fun, wacky and absolutely entertaining! Try to put yourself on your schedule, and if you have a bad day, don't worry! You can't control everything, but you can control how you deal with things! This is my way of dealing with mental health! If you have any questions, concerns, comments, or just want to add on, feel free to do so :D always looking for input and knowledge!

Thursday, 14 August 2014

Introduction

Hi! My name is Samantha and I am a young female who has suffered from mental health issues and issues with our society (as many others have). This is a brief introduction to myself and what I hope to accomplish with this blog.

Well as I mentioned I am a young female with mental health issues, I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Manic Depressive Disorder (aka Depression). Now depression is fairly straight forward, essentially it is being extremely sad with loss of hope, thoughts of suicide, sometimes self harm behaviours. Depression can be treated/helped with both therapy and medication. Borderline Personality Disorder is an emotional disorder. Since it is an emotional disorder there isn't really any chemical imbalance that just medication alone can fix. It can be cured (which is great news!), people are usually seen as cured when they are in their mid to late adult years. So BPD people feel emotions more deeply and they may resurge and persist for longer periods of time. We are very impulsive, our interpersonal relationships suffer a lot and are hard to maintain, we have suicidal thoughts and behvaiours. This is just the tip of the iceburg, if you want to know more you can check out the wikipedia description of it (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder#Signs_and_symptoms). Since I was diagnosed in 2011, I have come a long way. I still have bad days, but they are getting fewer and farther inbetween. I am currently practicing Buddhism to bring myself to the now and have better control over myself and my emotions/thoughts. Hopefully one day, I will be completely free of my BPD.

As a female I have faced many challenges such as discrimination and harassment. Daily I am catcalled, winked at, groped, or followed. I have been told that I "don't know what I am talking about because you're female" and I have been told that because I don't want kids I am "selfish, rude, stupid, etc" whereas my boyfriend gets the typical "well yah, I don't blame you!" conversation. I will explain why I don't want children but that will be for another blog.

My goals with this blog are to hopefully show people who suffer from mental illness that they are not alone and that seeking help is not a sign of weakness. Also I do hope to show people another side of mental health as our society (unfortunately) still sees mental health as devient and bad. I am always open to feedback and criticism (that is how you learn!). I am not a writer, my grammar and sentence structure sucks, but maybe one day I can write properly!

This will be a safe environment for anyone seeking help, guidance, or just a place to vent! However, I will NOT tolerate the following: bullying (including but not limited to: crude/sexual remarks, insults, threats, etc.), harassment (I respect that everyone has a right to their opinion, however if it begins to make others uncomfortable, then myself or any of the other people may ask you to stop, if it continues, you will be removed), violence towards others. I would appreciate if there are any conversations/comments you have you put *TRIGGER WARNING* then if someone is having a bad day they can prepare themselves. I will practice my right to ban, remove or report any comments/users that are unfriendly. I am always open to second chances, but you have to make the case on why I should give you a second chance.

Hopefully this page will be of service to people who need help or change :D